THE SANDWICH AND THE APPLE TV

‘Are you going to take care of the fucking baby?!’

The music on my phone had turned off. I was busy washing dishes in the kitchen and didn’t get to the phone in time to press ‘Yes’ on YouTube’s request to continue listening, so now I was able to hear the words in the background coming from the living room a few feet away.

My son was on his iPad, on FaceTime with his father, asking for his help setting up the sound on his new Apple TV that his father bought him today. That, and a new monitor, was part of his Christmas gift. The other part was to set everything up together along with the old desktop that still needs to be upgraded.

The words I heard went on for minutes before the music stopped. I had assumed they were listening to some movie where there was a lot of yelling. No, this was real life. His father’s everyday life with his wife. I walked over to my son to see what was going on. When the stepmother realised her husband was on the phone with our son, she had a few words for us.

‘Hi Sage and Natalija. Did you have fun today?’ The words were dripping in jealousy and resentment. Neither of us bothered to respond so she continued the beratement of her husband right in front of the both of us to the point where he had to hang up on his son to cater to her demands. I felt bad for my son.

‘Are you going to make dinner?’

‘Yes’, he replied quietly, to not anger the dragon even more.

‘Now! The baby needs to go to sleep now!’

He had assured me that things were fine. That therapy ‘was working’ for them. Things are not fine, and my daughters are still there witnessing the abuse of their father daily. And I feel helpless as there is nothing I can do about it. At least I don’t know what I can do.

‘Did she just use the word ‘fucking’ with the baby?’ I asked my son when his call ended.

‘Yes, she always uses that word.’

Then I think of an hour or so earlier when my son returned home from spending an afternoon with his father. Initially, we had doubts that he was even going to show up. Then he texted our son to ask him to let him know when his kickboxing class was over. We both looked at each other with surprised looks in our eyes. My son texted him back that we were home. It was a few minutes past noon by that time. In the meantime, Sage went to shower and I made us coffee and toasted the sourdough bread I bought during the time he was in class.

As we sat at the dining table enjoying our coffee and toast with Irish butter and blackberry jam, another text came from his father letting him know he was on his way. Sage asked if he could give him another 15 minutes. ‘Yes, of course’, came the reply.

Sage then went downstairs to help his father bring up what he thought was the old desktop. To his surprise, it was a new monitor he could use for gaming. His father walked in first with the large monitor, the significance of this being that it was the first time he stepped into any of my homes since our divorce eight years ago. Except the time he helped me carry the heavy glass bookcase up the stairs of my first townhome, which was before he met his wife. This, I thought, was sure to get him in trouble.

After taking out the monitor and testing it to see if it worked with the laptop, they both left to go to The Domain where they went to the Apple store to buy the Apple TV and Whole Foods for a bite to eat. They also went to an ice cream shop. Sage texted me a photo of his sandwich. ‘That looks delicious!’, I replied. ‘It is’, he replied back. I told him to enjoy as I did not wish to take the limited time away from his afternoon with his father. However, stepmother had a real issue with the fact that my son was being fed.

‘Oh, so Sage just ate, but you bought him a sandwich?!’. My eyes grew wide in disbelief at her denying Sage food and in being so rude and inconsiderate as she called her husband with her ranting whilst my son listened to the entire exchange of words on speakerphone. He told me that his father was calm and just replied ‘Yes’ – though it was three hours prior to the sandwich that we had our toast with coffee – but that his eyes had so many more words to say to her. She called again, an hour later, and demanded that he be home by 18,00. Go cart racing will have to wait until next weekend.

After the baby was fed and put to bed, Sage’s father called back to help him set up the sound on the monitor. He was upstairs in his office, his safe haven from the wife. Cinnamon was also there so they decided to have a Bob’s Burgers watch party. As I sat in my room reading ‘Missing, Presumed’, I heard him in the living room deciding with his sister which episode to watch next. Four episodes later, I asked him to go to bed as it was approaching midnight.

It made me happy to see that there was effort being made to repair a broken relationship. One caused by the wife he married. He also stated that he wants the girls to come to me at least once a month, but to understand that they have their social lives with friends. I was glad to see them last weekend for Cinnamon’s 14th birthday and invited them for the weekend after Valentine’s Day to come over for chocolate cake.

As with everything in life, there will be challenges going forward. This weekend was one example, but I am glad my son had a chance to spend an afternoon with his father, to enjoy the sandwich and the Apple TV.