GLIMMER OF HOPE

‘Good morning son’, I texted.

‘Good morning’, he replied.

‘We won’t be able to get the house. Credit score is a tiny bit lower than they want. So, one more year [here] and then we move,’ I wanted him to know what the latest update was on our application.

‘Oh k’, he seemed disappointed, ‘…The wood did seem a little destroyed. And ya like you said I kind of also want grass and not have a giant building in our backyard’.

‘The fireplace was a bit weird as was the shape of the fireplace room’, I replied. It sounded like we were complaining. But we were simply trying to manage our disappointment.

Imperfections of some kind will always be there, both in objects and people. Nothing in life is perfect or permanent. Situations change. The important thing is how we learn to accept those changes and learn to live with imperfections that matter most.

In those few minutes, we resolved ourselves to staying where we were for another year. Such was the reality. For this morning at least. I’ve come to realise that things can change in a matter of minutes sometimes. About four hours in today’s case.

‘Do you still want the house? Even if the floors are bad and there is construction in the backyard?’, I texted my son later in the afternoon.

‘Sure…What do you want’, my son replied.

‘I want you to be happy’, I tried to explain.

‘No it’s okay what ever you like’, he was hesitant.

‘I want to hear your thoughts, I encouraged him and wanted him to be a part of our decision to move. Sometimes we tend to forget that teenagers have thoughts worth listening to. That we, as parents, need to be making the sole decisions. We also seem to forget what it was like to not be heard when we were younger. To have all of the important decisions made for us without consulting us.

‘Why are you asking me tho’, his curiosity seemed to be awakening.

‘Because they are thinking of letting us rent it’, I was hopeful yet skeptical.

Though there was that glimmer of hope for us to get into the house, I knew it wasn’t the final decision. The management company let me know there was a mix-up in the way they calculated my monthly income. I wasn’t concerned so much about the reason. I just wanted to know either way.

My son and I continued to text our thoughts about our potential new home. He was curious about the square footage and excited that the new place would have almost double the space. I was excited about the possibility of having space to create. Of not having to navigate around ill-placed furniture and boxes. Of being able to have a quiet sleeping space.

So, now we wait. And wait some more to find out if our glimmer of hope turns brighter.