ALL THE CAN'TS
The mood was somber this morning as summer’s end has made way for the first day of school.
‘The one day it’s cold… I wish I could go biking now’, I heard him say as we sat outside on the balcony this morning and enjoyed our special breakfast.
The table was set with dark grey placemats, one blue and one white plate, and cups for orange juice and coffee. French toast was on the menu, as requested by my son.
‘I’d rather built a rocket than go to school’, I heard him say as we cut into our cinnamon custard Brioche toast with maple syrup.
I told him to be positive, but I knew it was useless.
After breakfast, I walked him across the street to the school and passed by two teachers by the bus stop area near the entrance to the cafeteria.
‘Have a great day buddy!’, exclaimed one of the teachers.
‘He doesn’t really want to be here’, I let them know after my son kept walking towards the door to meet his friend.
‘I don’t think any of us want to be here’, one of them replied. I was in a bit of shock as I couldn’t believe she actually admitted that. Out loud.
I returned home and started my work day.
At the end of the day, my son texted me to let me know he would be coming home later as he wanted some time to catch up with friends he hasn’t seen since the end of the last school year. I was relieved because I thought I would be late coming home. I was just getting back from getting ice cream at HEB as a treat.
As we sat outside and enjoyed our vanilla bean and caramel cone ice creams from Haagen Dazs, he filled me in on his awful and boring first day. It turned out to be a very long list of all the can’ts.
‘You can’t do that, or else’ was what I got from his summary of every single teacher drilling the same message at the start of each of his nine classes. Including during lunch, when they couldn’t actually eat lunch as they had to listen to the list of rules once more.
‘You can’t wear a hat sideways’, my son started. ‘That’s so racist!’, he exclaimed.
‘You can’t wear a hoodie hood on. But you can wear cat ears, cat tails, and dog collars.’
My son challenged the teacher by asking why students are allowed to wear cat ears and cat tails.
‘It’s not that serious’, said his math teacher. She went on to explain that last year a student meowed in her class.
‘If I had a student meow in my class, I’d quit my job’ continued my son. I still couldn’t believe there is such a thing as the ‘Furry’ movement, or whatever you want to call it.
‘You can’t use your phone until after 16,20. If you do, you get lunch detention. All the teachers get notified,’ he continued. Then added that after three times, you get ISS – in school suspension.
You have to wear a badge with your photo to show you are a student – at all times.
You can’t talk to friends during class – ever.
He went on to explain that calling your parents is no longer allowed. You can’t text parents even during passing periods.
If you need to call your parents, you need to go down to the office.
If you need to text your parents, you need to ask the teacher if you can send an email.
If it’s an emergency, go down to the office or ask the teacher to email them.
You can’t go to the bathroom during the first or last 10 minutes of class.
‘Anything else you can’t do’, I asked with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
‘You can’t listen to music’, which means a ban on AirPods.
‘How does that make you feel, all those rules?’, I asked. I knew it made him feel worse than last year.
‘Stupid. Just like prison. Crappy food. Doing everything you’re told. Eating. When told. Going to the bathroom. When told. Going to class. When told. Leaving. When told.’
One of his friends got in trouble for looking at his new school schedule on his phone. He didn’t have a paper printout. He was written up.
‘School teaches you that you need to be perfect or you fail…or get in trouble’, I heard my son say tonight as he went to bed.
It’s definitely starting to sound like prison to me.
