WHEN CO-PARENTING FAILS

After five weeks my three children showed up on my doorstep tonight. I had mixed feelings as I looked at them and then at their father's car without him being in the car. He had let his girlfriend drive my children in his little Lexus SC430 convertible which is too small to be safe to transport the children seeing how the back seat is not a full seat. This was the first time he had not dropped off the children himself.

He avoided coming most likely due to the fact I would ask about the children's passports which I requested to be dropped off today - passports he refuses to give me for fear I will run off with the children and never return. In addition, he would also have to explain why he did not allow the children to communicate with me during this long summer without them. When I informed him via email that I had been sending the oldest emails on an almost daily basis, he told me simply that her iPhone was broken. How difficult would it have been to log into his computer and let her see my emails?

I could not get past the newly pierced ears of my girls as it was done without both my knowledge or approval. The girls told me they had them pierced three weeks ago. Possibly another reason for the refusal to allow the children to contact me via Skype whilst I was in Ireland. But most disturbing was that my girls are starting to look like the new girl - their father's girlfriend and so-to-be wife.

It pains me to look at my girls and see them looking like slutty teenagers at the age of 7 and almost 9. They should be allowed to be little girls for a few more years and should not be forced to resemble their father's trophy girlfriend who is 15 years younger than him. The skirt which Cinnamon was wearing was far too short for anyone to wear and the pants on Saffron were too tight. At least my boy looked like a boy though he did not like the length of his hair. He said it was long like a girl. I told him we would take care of that next week.

Co-parenting should not be this difficult. It should not be a constant battle of wills and bruised egos rather two parents working together, communicating, and keeping the children's best interests in mind. My frustration lies in my repeated unanswered emails and going against everything I believe is right for my children, including the way they dress. When co-parenting fails it is the children who suffer.