ON BROKEN SHELLS

The sun was shining today. At 22 degrees Celsius, it was finally warm enough to sit outdoors and enjoy the spring family picnic at school despite the ground having been damp from the rains earlier this week. Some of the trees were covered with beautiful white and pink flowers, a sure sign of spring arriving. The air was heavy with the scent of the blossoms and the effects of the pollen can now be felt albeit it is not as bad as the cedar tree pollen of winter.

Each of my three children came outside to spend time with me and their father and the girlfriend. Saffron informed me this morning of his coming to the picnic with his girlfriend. The scene was awkward, to say the least, but I was there for my children. My son, unlike his sisters, was visibly uncomfortable with the situation as he turned towards me and away from them, refusing to answer her questions. I encouraged my son to talk to her even though I knew he would rather have not.

Today of all days I wished my boyfriend would have been here with me and the children as we enjoyed the family picnic. Smiles and laughter would have replaced the awkwardness. There was no laughter today and smiles were forced for the sake of politeness. The entire scene was as if everyone was merely walking on eggshells, until the end when the 'niceness' was no more and the shells were broken. It was then that the true natures emerged.

The fight between the old and the new. An attempt of one to exert power over the other. The struggle to keep together what is left of a family, all whilst wishing simply to move forward with as little tension as possible. When a mother is threatened with the possibility of her children being taken away from her, she will fight with all she has. I wished things could have been more pleasant, but the looming threat of having the children whisked off to South Austin this summer weighs heavily on me. Why make it difficult for a mother to see her children. Why cause her a loss of both time and money when it is rather unnecessary to do so.

Today the focus should have been more on the children and how not to disrupt their lives any more than already has been disrupted. In this case, there should be no reason to fight. In the end, it comes down to what is in the best interest of the children. If compromises cannot be made, then one needs to rethink if the situation is worth pursuing.