no soul knows

minutes pass

second by second

the sun sets

the moon rises

the smiles of the day

have been stripped away

reality showing itself

as she looks in the mirror

at the harsh truth

the one no soul knows

one masked by that big bright smile

and eyes full of hope

or what she makes them believe

for fear of trying explain

something to someone

who himself

is masking the truth.

silence in the wake of fear

waiting

for someone

 for something

the past

to repeat itself

only to have the forethought

of knowing what’s to come

and to change

the outcome to something

other than what it is

raindrops now falling harder

pounding fiercely on the pavement below

lights flashing

darkness abounds

sirens getting louder

tears flowing

metal clashing upon metal

memories erased

silence in the wake of fear

nothing will ever be the same.

Maiden Voyage

Dream from 1. February 2012.

Jolted out of bed around 5h this morning, jaws sore as a result of clenching my teeth, from a most awful dream sequence, the last being a surreal Donnie Darko moment where I was walking in through some Croatian town under a large green fig tree which produced fruit nowhere resembling a fig rather some large fuzzy round green fruit about 5” in diameter. Then I look up and in slow motion see this green object coming to the ground. As I catch it, I realize it was the baby water bottle that my son now uses. A long scream ensues and I start seeing other objects falling around in the sky. I get a seemingly cold, heartless email stating that it’s inevitable in a maiden voyage of a plane.

Earlier, I was sitting in the plane and someone had apparently messed with the brake lines. The pilots discovered it and fixed the issue. Seemingly, there were other problems. I remember being against getting on the plane. I remember scrubbing with a small brush some round metal mesh object that was, in the dream, part of the brakes. I do not recall anyone getting on board as my dream had fast forwarded to my strolling through that Croatian town where somehow the name “Gospa od Carmena” came up and where I started to get hope that maybe, just maybe, there might be a miracle.

Before that dream, there was another dream dealing with death and fire and people being consumed with fire.

I just wanted to write this down as I know that dreams fade in the morning and I would soon forget some details.

Game Over

Dream from 16. August 2010.

At the end of the dream, I was sitting in the passenger side of the car driving to Austin (I believe) with some tall and handsome blond guy after having participated in some fun but strange play drama where people were dressed in costumes. This guy had a red-hair wig. So, we were driving on the highway when I saw what I thought was some strange-looking lightning (“organic” lighting?). It wasn’t sharp rather smooth and curvy and white against the almost dark blue sky. I remember talking about my workshop experience with Bryan Peterson – how he came in May but then had to reschedule and that I just finished the rescheduled workshop and how fun it was. Then I started seeing patterns in the sky, as if it was sectioned off into uneven squiggly white squares. The sky became more and more white. All of a sudden, our car jetted ahead and plunged into what appeared a “black” hole – although it was white all around us. This went on for a little while until we stopped and a man handed us some card through the driver’s side window and told us “Game over”! At this point, it was apparent that we were dying, so I grabbed his hand…that’s when I woke up.

 

Now to backtrack to before the end before I forget…I was involved in some kind of photography group shooting. The details are sketchy but there are a few things that I remember: burrs stuck in a dark navy blue t-shirt hanging on a closet rod full of other jackets and shirts (possibly from one of the photoshoots), me handing one of the girls from the group my phone number to call me when she heads out on another shoot, riding in an elevator to drop off my husband at some meeting where he was speaking, sitting in some room with some guys, involved in some “play” where people dressed up in costumes and went from room to room (in a building next to a park) dancing and running around where I met the guy in the end of the dream after possibly having been involved with some other guy. The guy was wearing a red wig, but turned out to be blond.

That’s all I remember as of now.

blank

 

you stare back at me

as white as a ghost

longing for something

not quite sure exactly

of what is to come

 

you wait for me

to make that move

hoping and wishing

for just one thought

for just one word

 

you listen to the music

as it plays in the background

inspiration is somewhere

words are gathering

dark clouds part to reveal a clear sky

a night with a full moon

shining back with a smile

as the once blank page

comes to life

words falling

one

at

a

time...

no

longer

blank.