DEAR MR. VERNON

‘Please let me know what will happen if I choose not to give consent’, I replied.

I waited for a reply to my email. None came. It was an email which followed today’s noon meeting where the school administrators and my son’s father met to determine my son’s future. A meeting which was nothing more than yet another attempt to get my son analysed by the school psychologist in what they referred to as a Functional Behavioral Assessment.

The morning started out a bit strained as we rushed to get out the door and to the designated area where the bus would be waiting for my son. The bus to take my son all the way up north to Leander where he was ordered to serve the next two weeks at the correctional school. A reduced sentenced from the previously requested 60 days by the assistant principal who is now no longer allowed to rule over my son. A request I made to the principal when I met with him last week.

The meeting was an MDR, which I found out to stand for Manifestation Determination Review, and was brought about by the need to determine if the actions which brought my son to LEO were a direct result of his supposed disability. They were not. The meeting continued with everyone present giving their input to the situation with his father continuing to insist that our son has autism. He does not.

I later read through the eight pages sent to me to see what was actually going on as none of this made sense to me. It was reported that my son was placed in LEO for harassment. For saying things to others which was deemed offensive. Things he said amongst his small circle of friends, which was meant as a joke. As something that teenagers say to each other. Something many other students say outside their friend groups. But this particular incident had to do with one of the friends being kicked out of the group and retaliating against not only my son, but the other girl in their group of four. Two girls and two guys.

The blond girl had spent much time with my son on weekends as I drove them to the mall and drove my son to her house, not too far from where we live. On those occasions, I heard them talking about Hitler and Jews. My son is half German. She comes from a Jewish family. The blond girl even talked about them dressing up as Hitler and a Jew for Halloween. I looked back at them in the middle seat of my car and told them that was a very bad idea. That they might even get shot for doing that.

As a result of the girl being kicked out of the friend group, she told her mother that my son was harassing her with the racial comments and that the other girl harassed her as well. That Friday, I got a text from her mother stating that my son is no longer allowed to be around her daughter. That she was distressed as a result of my son harassing her and that she had to be picked up from school. This was the beginning of my son’s journey to LEO.

I scanned the long document, scrolling down to the line where his disability was written in black and white. Autism. It was an opinion brought about in January 2020 when my son’s father had the elementary school evaluate our son. An evaluation I knew nothing about. An evaluation done against the terms of our court order as I did not give my consent. It wasn’t even a medical evaluation as it stated it was an opinion. Now, as a result of this opinion and his father’s insistence of our son having autism, both Sage and I are constantly being harassed by the school.

‘It has now become a federal issue’, the psychologist continued to say as they tried to get me to agree to my son being in a fishbowl. Under constant observation to determine his behaviours. I let her know that I think this is nothing more than a teenager trying to fit in and that I need time to think about my decision. I didn’t need the time. I knew my answer, for the umpteenth time that I have told them, is ‘no’. I will not subject my son to such scrutiny.

As I flash back to the famous 80s movie, The Breakfast Club, I recall the final scene. That iconic letter. And that one line:

Dear Mr. Vernon…

‘You see us as you want to see us…

In the simplest terms,

in the most convenient definitions.’

This line is still relevant in today’s society, and not just for teenagers. Because if we took the time to see people as they truly are, we would spend less time dissecting their actions and more time to find ways in which to help them grow to their highest potential.