NO CONTROL

‘I love how positive you are…despite everything that is going on’, he stated.

‘Well, there is nothing else I can do’, I explained.

When we find ourselves in a position where someone tries to exert their power over us, our instinct tells us to fight. Sometimes we fight and get the intended result. Other times, the fight drains us of our energy. We feel helpless and hopeless. We are left feeling empty.

The attempt to reason with an unreasonable and uncooperative person is akin to pushing on a brick wall. It goes nowhere, no matter how hard we push. We get all worked up and think if we keep pushing harder, the wall will move. But all that effort leaves us with is a soul left drained. It shortens our lives and leaves us feeling useless and out of control.

The alternate approach is to simply sit back and let things take its course. At first, that might sound irresponsible and unconventional but we have no control over other people’s actions and thoughts. We can continue to do everything what is within our power whilst keeping a positive attitude. As difficult it is to be patient when we want things ‘now’, patience will win out in the end.

There are reasons for people behaving badly and making things more difficult for themselves and others when they need not be so difficult. Perhaps their own lack of control over a situation we know nothing about is the reason for their behaviour. Something which is happening behind the curtains of a seemingly ‘perfect’ life. From my experience, when a bully is trying to exert control it usually means they are struggling to hold onto a control that they are fearful of losing. It could be money or prestige or a fear of being alone. Whatever the reason, there is no excuse for such behaviour.

I truly believe that things happen for a reason at the time that they happen. We might not always like the outcome or we might feel as if life is working against us. In the end, the only thing we can control is our reaction to the situation. We can choose to be angry and fight. Or we can let go and choose a peaceful existence. Though at times it seems we have no control, we do have the choice to live a happy life or an unhappy one. It starts each morning with being grateful that we were given another day to start over. Another chance to live with purpose.