SLOW SATURDAY

lime tree

The minutes passed by at a sluggish pace. Though the weekend had arrived, I was awake at around the same time I would have awoken during the week. I would have preferred to sleep in longer, but somehow was not able to do so. 

There were many things I had planned on doing today. Not much was accomplished as is the case when we stare at a mountain of work and wonder where to start. I ventured out two hours after I awoke and made it as far as the grocery store where I purchased items for the following week though not much was needed.

When time slows down, our minds start to wander and wonder. What will happen after my last four days of work next week was one of my thoughts. Long-term employment is necessary in order for me to be able to save money for the future. A house is something I hope to be able to purchase next year, but without a job which pays more than slightly over minimum wage this is next to impossible.

This summer holds much change, more for my children than for me at this point with their father getting married and the new family moving in to my old home. I wish I could give my children more than I am able to at this time. I wish I could give them a stable home instead of our looking to move again shortly after Cinnamon's birthday in January.

Many thoughts went through my mind today as the rain continued to fall and the thunder and lightning put on a grand display throughout the late evening and into the night. As I looked around at the piles of boxes and unassembled furniture, I wondered when I would get that urge to simply get it all done.

Part of me wants to get things in place whilst the other part wonders why I should unpack when I will have to pack up again in a few short months. It is a conundrum of sorts. I long to have a place to call home where I can unpack my belongings and continue with living instead of merely surviving.

Today might have been slow but the year is almost half over. Progress is slow and at times it seems the movement forward towards a new future is out of reach. He is there. I am here. One day this will not be the case but for now we continue to wait as minutes trickle by.