SO BE IT

chains green
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
— Confucius

'Everything in this house is mine...' went one of the several emails from the children's father this afternoon. It started by him informing me that now, after ten years of living in that house, he is finally getting around to cleaning the garage and wants me to take whatever I left behind. He continued to let me know if I do not take what he thinks belongs to me by Saturday, then he will take it to the landfill or Goodwill.

'Will you miss it' asked Z. I thought about it for a second and decided I probably would not miss much since I had many boxes filled with papers and such from years before which I haven't looked through in years. So is the case when we start to accumulate things and hold on to every piece of paper which comes our way. But I am sure there are things I would miss.

With each email, things got progressively worse. I have been asking for half of the children's toys for months now but I hear from the children that they are not allowed to take anything from their father's house since the toys were purchased with his money. Today I asked again but was met with more harsh words. 'In addition of your own responsibility to provide for your children, you are getting...child support [half, I might add] from me. This money is for the children and not to support you.'

For over eight years I stayed home to take care of the children. Getting back out into the workforce at my age and having to deal with the inflexibility of companies when it comes to work/life balance is near impossible. So, not only are the children now referred to as your children but I have to find an employer which will pay enough for me to be able to provide for my three children.

Such exchanges of emails have become exhausting and unnecessary. I long for the day when my boyfriend and I can talk about things not having to do with the revenginess of my ex. 'If it brings you so much pleasure to take revenge on me for the sake of the children's happiness, then so be it' were my last words. No response from him. No surprise.

I know now that revenge brings only darkness...
— 'Amanda Clarke' (Revenge finale)